What a day..I almost forgot that I have appointment with Doctor today. Geez! Too much in my mind and yet its still a tough year I have going through. Went to specialist for consultant today. My lady boss wont agreed if I take any type of leave so I've decided to excuse myself from working hours for my appointment. It's been arranged since last week. It's all for the best of myself. I have to think further now then, I must try to go on no matter what will happen next. Doc A did ask me to come again for 2nd appointment..if..if lah I don't preggy. But if I do before that, I have to follow up myself with mother hood checkup every month. I feel excited when thinking about preggy. I always pray and wish to get myself 'bloated'. Which women never feel happy when they can 'bloated' for their love one le.. I braved myself walked in to the clinic and hoping that I will get my answer for my questions. And I do felt confidence on that. Although I felt upset without someone that I love beside me, I have to give more strength to myself. It's not the better time for us meet up and involve in love matters. That's the matter that I would like to tell him but I do have no strength to say a words about that. As I saw his 'empty feeling' water face. Yet I failed again to say everything that I've wanted to say before that. :'(
Doc A gave me an medication for my treatment. It does for hormone more balance. I am asking myself, what will I do if I 'bloated'?? How will I face it from everybody?? Will I be fine?? Will someone that I love protect me when I 'bloated' of him?? Questions still with questions. And answer will never be answer...sighhhh!! Tiring~~
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