I can't barely looking at wedding photos that posted on my facebook updated news. It make me feel so sorrow that I couldn't tahan not to cry...again. The love story make me feel so touch and weak. I wish to wear lovely wedding gowns and take the most valuable photos in my life as I never take before. What a pity person I am right? I thought that I will be bless for a wonderful memorable wedding with someone that I really love this time. All is just a dream that never will come true. As the person never will return back. No feeling...huh..I don't have more teardrop.. I closed my door to anyone.
What a sadness life I have now. Since before until today. I never can achieve for happiness while others happily with their love happy ending chapter. I have no place to express my feeling. It's really sick to keep everything in your heart. I feel my whole body don't even touch the ground. I took 2 - 3 hours to finish my meals. Whenever he is around, I have strength to live on, so much happy until I could forget about every problems I have. Honestly swear from the bottom of my heart that I am so so happy when he is around. But then its really hurt my heart when I couldn't hug him, kiss, pamper and even touch him. I couldn't. I cried inside and that is the most painful feeling. I bet this is the end of my life. It ruining my life again. I will collapse anytime. Anytime. I will permanently lost.
No one can cure me not even one. Not even my family. No one can understand me. Drawn until don't know where will it stop. I'll feel sad everytime I see a happy family or a parents bring their children around, pregnant woman shown happy face and loving couple with their happy life. Why I can't have that kind of moment? I will be like this...forever. (Dying...) He so keen to see I'm dying like this. He don't even have heart to see how pain I am right now.
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