Tired day today as its Monday! Yawned whole day like I don't get enough sleep but its true that I couldn't sleep well last night. Maybe too tired from long journey I had last week. The holiday was great although exhausted and it's been long time didn't met everyone. So the energy haven't recover back. What a lazy Monday I've gone through today. Looks like everyone doesn't in the mood to work in the office today. Everybody still CNY mode ler.. What a tired day.. Daytime working and classes nightime to attend. More energy to contribute.. I was shocked when my lecturer announced the midterm exam will be held on few weeks coming! Oh God! I have no idea if I can make it. I haven't catch up the 2 beginner chapter that I missed. Now heard the midterm exam just around the corner. *fainted* I straight away patah semangat right after the lecturer mentioned about it. It's different now, I have no one I can lend for shoulder. It's not the same as before when I patah semangat, I will look for my lao gong. But not anymore. Everything changed. While I almost 'fall down from the strength' I really wanted to text him and share about what I've been through. But who I am in his heart right now? Just a stranger. I just afraid I couldn't complete what I should within this 2 years. Without him around I have no different with bird patah sayap. I couldn't fly my wing freely.
Valentine's Day is near. For those who is happy, will celebrate their joyful on that day. While I, don't know. Maybe just stay at home, celebrate nothing for Valentine's Day with sad mode. Flash back previous Valentine's Day was fall on CNY festival. It's so sad that I have to leave my loved one on Valentine's Day when I away for business purpose. But I forced (some sort of lah) him to come over to Btu just to have happy moment with him. I don't even care about other things although I not feeling well by that time, just only want him beside me as I really need his care and warmness. And yes he did came down to Btu. He's my lao gong. I thought that he will be the one for me and I did promised to myself that next year (meaning this year 2011) I will be his de. Well, semua nya hancur dalam sekelip mata! Siapa lah aku kalau nak di banding dengan cewek baru nya itu. Aku bukan siapa siapa bagi nya. I wish I could turn back time to the very first moment I touch about love chapter in my life. How wonderful if the person would be him and the last for me. I am sorry that I have no ability to delete the ring in my heart. The ring in my heart will forever with me. My heart cried when I took out the ring and you thrown it inside dustbin. The heart bleeding again without you understand and feel it. All this while I living with all memories we had, I still alive and will die together with all the memories. This is how I loved. It's all about LOVE ...
No comments:
Post a Comment