Don't rely on me

Please don't rely on me anymore... 

I've seen a lot of things. Experienced so many things. Felt all every emotions. All of it's, I learned about life. It's miracle as I can seen and experienced such so many things. Doesn't matter of happiness or sadness. No matter from myself or others. The most precious moment in my most sweet memories was be with someone I love. Although it just for few years. I appreciate everything around me, everyone, belongings, etc which is related to me. Being so concern and humble too much makes me never give myself a chance to appreciate myself. Now I have the strength to stop what I should end since ages. It's like I've given a power to be strong to pull out the burden. I know it will effect everyone. For the sake of my life, I should.

Actually it's not all about me to blogging today. It's about other things happening. What is happening come with reasons itself. What the most thing I afraid now is too much sin. Remember God and praise Him, your prayer will be granted. Sometimes we didn't expect something would happen. Eg. although my family not so close to me, but I do love them. I love my mom & brother as they the only I have now. I don't burden them with my problems, that's much much better. As I know there's nothing they can do for me to resolves. 

I know what is happening with bro's relation recently. But I don't bother to interfere. I do let everyone who ever treat me immoral (tidak bagus) to feel the meaning of hurt and disappointed. It's not revenge. Not at all related. I let them face the problem by themselves. And by that chance they will learn and know what's mean by respectful. Don't run from own responsibilities. I eagerly to tell bro to surrender his heart to God and praise Him. But God, do I have the right to lead him although I myself still a weak person? I always pray for my family and for others too. Am I stupid God? Sacrifice for others while everybody never look deep inside my heart about how I feel and been humble. I do feel guilty not to be beside bro as a sister to comfort and give him moral support. But who I am to interfere? I know what is my level between them. I have no right to say anything or come out with any opinion. I hope he can bear it. Don't be like me. I am a weak person. I lost in love relation. I couldn't bear it. I am in love too much until the feeling hurting me so deeply. Love too strong to let go. It's my happiness that I have, the only and last in my life. But I pray hard for that. For peace in God to be in my heart too. I know how hurt it is. I've been through worse than that bro... Believe in Him and miracle does exist.. Miracle ...

xoxo