Blog is the best listener to my stories of life

My tasks with the current company will ended today. Today's the last day I will seated my ass on this chair, in this organization. I am no longer will be a part of their 'slave'. A lot of memories and sweet moment I've been through while working with everyone. I will kept those as my experienced in working field. I enjoy working here, I can go any where easily. But I need something that can support more on my financial. Earning less than suppose wit current company aren't enough. So I try my luck to hunt for a new offer. There I goes.. I got the interview after few days submitted my CV. I don't expect I get the job as I have no confidence. But I just go on with the interview. Tried the best to answer and questions the interviewers. And finally I got the offer! I don't really into excitement to it. May be because I still struggling with other problems that more important than get the new job. But its God's gift and I accepted it with blessed. I still need to accpet it to continuing surviving for my life. No one will support me; my bills, my expenses, daily meals etc. I am mentally tired. I can't focus to everything around me. My body need a long rest. That's why I decided to start the new job by end of this month. At least, I have time to rest my mind and body. 

Do I have a choices in living? There will one day I will stop and move on to other place that no one can find me. Leave all the thing around and try something new. I don't see any better life here. I don't have any other choices, non of it can be successful. Someone that suppose to take care and be responsibilities on me, doesn"t show his support, instead spending his time with something that not worthy. He is enjoying his life by watching me in the darkness. 

My friends says, be more a bit stronger. That's impossible. Can I be more stronger without settle up my pending debts? What choices I have right now? My life mess up just with one promise. Who should I blame to? God? My man? Or myself? Or shud I say I blame to my faith that brought me to this kind of life?? Day to day I just listen to everyone who bump into me.. why do I look so skinny nowadays. On diet? Can't everyone see through my eyes?? I have plenty of problem in my mind! Shit! 

xoxo