Blood pressure too low! Yeah.. had my check up today and it's my 33+ weeks. And my baby weight about 2.3kg. Less than 2 months for my deliver newborn. I am getting more excited. But my excited in to get baby stuffs getting less and lesser. I have depression this few weeks, because of financial problem.
I don't know where to start. Ok I just spit out what ever crossing on my mind. I spent few hundreds bucks just for today. Went for check up, then service my car, and shared with mom paid electric bill. That's not included what I ate today. I have high level desire to foods since my 7th months pregnancy. Doctor advice me twice since previous check up. Do control my sugar level and milk. I have to diet but not that type of diet we usually heard to slim down our body. But I couldn't control my desire to eat. When I'm thinking about foods, at the same time I am thinking about money. Of cause, I have too. Because I need money to have those things I crave for. No money no anything.
I thought I wont have financial problem once I received hubby's pay. I am trying hard to 'jimat cermat' with what I have. I just afraid when the situation lack of money occur again. It damn difficult moment when you have financial problem. You can't have what ever you want without money. My hubby a kind of inconsiderate toward his wife and newborn child. He thought I don't mind if I have no much money in my saving. May be he thought I still have mother and brother at home who have fix income would help me whenever I need money. But he doesn't know everyone does need money no matter what, where and when. I am not the type yang suka berhutang.
This problem keep bothering me until today. What worse is he doesn't have guts to explain to his family that we really need money for our newborn baby. He insisted to 'contribute' some money to his sister even thou I already mentioned many times that we have too many outstanding bills to pay.
I just don't get, why so hard to reject or tell the truth about the financial flow. At least that can make them understand the situation. Nanti aku juga yang terpaksa perah otak cari tempat nak pinjam duit. He seems to blame me for insufficient money in the account after I told him that I've use few thousand. I've told him few months earlier about this finance plan. But he refused to listen and thought I might easy to cooperate when the time come. Well, I am considerate type of person but I might being selfish when I need to. I HAVE TO BE SELFISH. I need much saving this few months. Unless he doesn't care and love his own child. I am so disappointed on him. He seems doesn't care much on me and baby. I bearing his baby inside my womb. But he care more on his siblings who doesn't really need money at the moment. Me whom suppose need more saving for emergency fund have to surrender everything just for the sake of his family? No way! My child is my priority. Because I am the one who gonna taking care of my son. And of cause I want the best for my child.
Oh my.. I should stop here. Talk also no use. I am super duper sleepy right now and hungry to.
*I still have my potato salad*
xoxo
No comments:
Post a Comment