My stories for the day

I went to salon this evening and trimmed my hair as my Gummy Bear would love to see I'm with short hair. So I walked in to the salon and ought to cut my hair short as usual but I've changed my mind and just go for trim. Well nothing much different with the hair. Too sad that my hair style will end her job in the middle of December and by then I have to find another professional hair style. Oh gosh! I thought this would be the last  hair style I stick with. I am very fussy with my hair especially when it come to hair cutter / style as I know not all hair cutter / style can give the satisfaction to me. Hair is a crown for every women okayy~

My birthday just passed few days ago. Non stop belated birthday lunch treat. Life so good to enjoy uh. And I did received some gifts from my family, cousin, and friends. And for myself, I won lottery! What? Surprise that I play lottery? Sometimes. Not as a addict. But might God did listened to my wishes on my birth day. I bought RM1 only for my own car registration number. I didn't expect that I can won 2nd place. Well, at least I won a thousand. I do hope I can settle off my debts so there will be less burden. My plans to have my own business and my own house still go on. I wanna be a successful person with my capability. I don't want to be a slave/ employee until my pension day. No! I just doesn't want to go through with the same thing every year. I wish for something or anything that I can be proud of. Such as, new life of me, new chapter, a happy life, happiness. I have my dreams and I never burn out my dreams! God, may my dreams comes true. Amen. 

Halloween just around the corner. And I am watching Fox movie Halloween. I never celebrate Halloween as I don't really like any event involve with Halloween. First I don't know what character and custom I would be. Second, I kinda not comfortable with the environment. Third I don't feel it secure event that I should involve with. Yea anything could be happen..you will cannot recognize some people with different customs (too much watching scary movie..LOL). The forth, no one ever invite me. That much better. I am not interested into it. 

I miss my Gummy Bear at the moment. Wonder where he is right now and how is he. I am so worry about him. I hope he can take care of himself and back home safely in piece. I love him more than I do and no word can express how much I love and miss him here. God bless my Gummy Bear. 

It's so darn late and it's time for bed. Night and morning fellas~ Hope I can dream of my Gummy Bear tonight. Sleep tight~

xoxo

Back To December~

Happy Birthday to Me!~

Make a wish. Blow a cake. Common thing to do when it come to birth day. My this year birthday aren't what I expected and what had I planned. I was thought my Gummy Bear were around on my born day. But his job which doesn't fix demob and mob always make the planned ruined. Sigh! Once again I am disappointed. Cancelled the actual plans; stay at Meritz Hotel, swim in the hotel pool, karaoke session, buffet lunch and dinner. Non of it successful. *Broken-hearted* 

At least this year I got some gifts for my birthday, lunch threat, and dinner threat. My best buddy tried her best to celebrate my birthday last night thou its only 4 of us. She's the best buddy ever. She understand me more than my own family. What a pitiful birthday girl I am. Too much heartache make me doesn't feel anything when it come to disappointment. Am I that bored in front everybody? Might be. I've changed a lot since this few years. I don't involved myself with clubs activities anymore. I don't into alcoholic. I don't into party or lepaking. My routine getting boring day to day. Work from morning to evening, attend college, back home, online, whatsapp with Gummy Bear if he connected to network, then sleep. The same thing repeating day to day. Sien ar! My life so darn boring! I can't go travel, can't shop until drop, can't eat nice meals, can't use nice gadgets. This year air ticket to KL burned just like that. So sayang. Why? Because Gummy Bear did planned to go together so I did cancelled my ticket and hoped that I can go with him. But darn! I wasn't in the plane! Arggghhh!! Guess my Gummy Bear doesn't really know how to taking care his own love relationship. Must be that the reason why his ex leave him? Tak kan gue mau ajar setiap kali ada yang tak kena. Some more I don't have the right to say much when it come to his decision making in matter than involved about his life. Do I have right to advice you? Will you follow what I say? (Gummy bear, if you have chance to read my blog, don't get upset on what I mentioned in my blog as I say what my heart and mind say. Learn from the mistake. Cheers)

Oh my! What a life! I am getting older year to year yet my financial still unstable. I don't see any better way in front. My college fees still left a lot need to settle up. I couldn't get my 'toilet paper' if I don't get to settle the balance. How I wish I can live much better than now. Else better hang myself up. 

I suddenly miss my dad. My life wont be so difficult if dad still around. He will give moral support and an advice whenever I am in difficult moment. I miss his taught. He never forget once my born day. Thou he couldn't give what I want (sometimes I request for something that he cant afford to buy), he will get me something else. Daddy, I miss you so much~ *tearing*

Anyway, Happy Birthday to me. Hoping for better day tomorrow. Next year birthday gift for myself, I WANNA GO TRAVEL! I don't care what will happen, I must go for travel. I don't want another year of disappointment! Its so much hurt, deeply.

xoxo

Life so complicated yet to be...

Heavy rain and thunder storm here in Miri. Nice cold weather for nice sleep. 

What a day I've faced today. Got pretty ugly bruise on my leg. Knocked down because of the dustbin. Great! It not supposed to be place there. I fell down right on the end of my cabinet and table. I was cried painful. Sakit banget! I still can feel the pain. But I am a strong lady. Yeah.. very strong until can cry uh. Until kena scolded by Gummy Bear. Thought wana manja with him but kena scolded pula. :'( Seems I purposely  make myself hurt. I have no one to manja with here. Tak kan nak manja with other guy pula or manja with Noodle. Unless Noodle know how to talk to me. That sound creepy. Hurm. Starting from the incident, I am so unlucky today. Sudah jatuh di timpa tangga. 

Oh my~~ I was so broken-hearted today. Everything ruined as what had planned. I was hoped for something that promised by today. But the person didn't make it until I text her either she come or not. I waited her for so long just to get my pay. Yet she didn't call or text me by inform me that she will not come. I hate waiting. Sudah lah earlier she ruined the plan, now then she didn't show up to pass me the money. I text her like I am a beggar for my own money. I know she lied me and give me so much excuses. But then yet until today I still don't take it seriously. As I know she's still young. Immature girl. But seriously I hate when someone make promised and then end up break the promised. I hate it when I found out the truth about someone. Because that may end up any relationship between. I am so kind hearted person when it come to friendship or in any relationship. But once you cheat/ back stab/ or even lie me, don't think I will forget that. I accept an apologize but the trust will never be the same. To the person, there will be no more another chances for you to play the tricks on our friendship. I can act like nothing happened. But it will be different view of friendship it be. You should respect and appreciate our friendship. Not taking advantage on that.

I updated my status on Facebook. I was pointed it to one of my friend. But my Gummy Bear was terasa pula. He thought that I might point the status posted to him. LOL. Funny of him. Why? He did something wrong behind me kah? Else he wont say such thing right? I don't get curious before he mentioned about that. But I started curious right after he talk about it. Should I feel suspicious? Or do I have the right to distrust? Well, I am a woman okay. The feeling of suspicious always there. I've given fully trust to my man. So I hope he keep that neatly. I don't mind what he wanna do. As long as both of us know where the limit should be. I love him so much. I appreciate him so much. I respect him. Anything I wanna do or did, I always come to him first for some ideas or opinion. As for me, open mind needed in relationship. Women cant get away from being jealousy. That showing we sayang our love one. Sometimes I felt I have over the limit to say so much when it come to give an advice or opinion. Not that I don't want, but I know that I have no right to say much on making decision. Yet I am not his legal-wife. I am just a girlfriend. I know my level. And I know also that he might wont use any of my opinion. I only can give an advice but the decision still be made by himself. Unless with his fully authorized then I can step on another level of one of his important person in life. Am I? Should I? Could I? Only he know the answer. 

Btw, I did received my advance birthday gift given from one of my colleague. Thanks for that. It so lovely. 

xoxo

Blood sucker (worse than vampire)

What a boring night. Here I am again, sitting in front of my lappy, blogging. I have a lot to blog but kinda lazy to do my typing. Typing with my eyes watering. Tiring looking at the screen for long hours. Poor eyes. Your master forcing you to staring at the screen for the whole day and now continuing it to do her own things. Sigh. 

Today's work kinda so-so. I have few bundles of documents I need to post in the system. Done with 2 bundles and left 2 more to go. Make it slow as I will sitting on my place waiting for some miracle appear. (what the hell 'm bubbling here) Other than sitting and dreaming, I will doze myself on my table. (zzz..) I don't like too free as I couldn't stop from chew anything. I cannot be so free else I might catch stress. So when I'm stress, I will hungry and keep on eating. Or I might end up spending. 

The main course of this article is about one of my friend, Jason. He came to text me today and expressed his feeling about his problem. Jason staying with his friends. Four (4) of them renting a house. So make it short, Jason the only person working while the rest just staying at home as a full time student. Jason always complaint about his house mate to me. How their attitude, character, and behaviour. Jason did the house cleaning, laundry, prepare for the meal, etc. While the rest goyang kaki. He don't mind at the first place as Jason need them for transportation to college and workplace. Since few weeks working, his house mate come out with new statement. His house mate asking for RM500 monthly for fuel and driver's allowance for sending him to college and workplace. I was 'what??' RM500??' I even drive a car from my home to my workplace then to my college. That was like from north to south. And I only spend less than RM500 for fuel a month. What a blood sucker his friend.Jason need to pay for rent and meals everyday. If he need to pay for RM500 to his house mate every month, then it's no different than working his ass for nothing! I was so damn pissed off right after what he told me. Don't let me see them in college tomorrow. Else there will be a war! I don't give a damn! I hate vandalism same goes bully-torture. Suka2 ajer nak minta RM500. Coba gak kerja cabut bulu ayam.. dapat ke tak RM500 tu? RM500 divide into half, RM200 for fuel and another RM300 for driver's fee. Great. So after this try get yourself RM500. Work for it. Because Jason working for himself! 

*Having durian at this hour!*  Chill~~

xoxo

Another day ahead

Sleepy eyes after I had my heavy bfast. My eyes going to shut down at any soon. Thats the bad habit when you take heavy bfast then just sit down with nothing to do, only waiting your food to digest. Mana tidak buncit weiii.. plus the cold temperature making the feeling to sleep is getting worst. *yawning* 

The new unit of aircon just installed yesterday. The banglas make the room so dusty after they make a hole on the wall. What a lousy service and job they did. My dinding no more handsome. =.= My lady boss kept on saying 'no complain cold oh after this.' to me for several of times. She sound like I ni sakai sangat tak pernah pakai aircon. So what? I prefer cold instead hot. Some more employee deserve better appreciation. Isn't it supposed? Well as you all know what type of person I am when it come to this kind of situation, I answer her 'I get used to cold. Shouldn't no problem as I hate hot.' LOL! She out of idea right after that. Rasa engkau. Sapa suruh asyik nak cakap benda yang sama ajer. Ingat aku ni kayu ker tak pandai jawab. I can see everyone so kepoh asking how nice I have new aircond. Duhhh...it just an aircond lah..what so good ler? Not like I can bring it back home and install it at my bed room. I can see the police woman look not happy. Another disaster. Bila lah I can replace that police woman position. She's not good in her profession. Not as professional as the position she's holding. She just love to dig out people mistake. Shout out loud with her 'garau' voice. Euuwww~~langsung tiada kewanitaan betul. If I am a man, I have no feel by looking at her. I've received a call from company panel doctor, I was blur as I don't know what the person on the other phone talking about. As I know I don't in charge of what so ever about company's medication thiny thing. There you are Miss andartu, you did wrong. Aren't you are so proud that you will never did wrong in doing your tasks? Come on..put down your position and you should retire or change your profession as you're not good in doin HR. Itu lah jangan pandang orang sebelah mata. 

Alrite..until here for today. Wanna buzzing awhile~~

xoxo

Ting ting ting~

Few days to my born day. Turn a year older again. As usual, I'll pamper myself by doing what I wanted to do for the day. Every year the same, celebrate my day either with family or with my close friends. Very rare to have chance to celebrate my day with someone I luv. Well, I get used with it. Get use being alone. This year birthday plans supposed to be great as planned. But..everything ruined. It's ok. That's not important thou. 

Every year, on my birthday, I always hope that my family know how to show their love toward me by celebrate my day with joyful. I don't ask for more.. at least treat me with simple meals or what ever it takes. Sound I demand pula. LOL. Nah.. just saying what I felt every year on my birthday. But then, at least there are still a lot of people remembered my birthday. Yeah.. from Facebook birthday calendar. Hehehe. Sigh.. what a pitiful birthday I am gonna have this year. 

I thought this year will be different than previous year. My gummy bear not around by that time. Hurm.. guess I'll celebrate with my best buddy again this year. 

xoxo

A woman married to the stingiest man in the world

I've been told about this story from one of my best buddy. A woman, working person, married to a man and the husband is the most stingiest man in the world. She's been married to this man for about 2 years. Every time the wife go for holiday, she ask for holiday pocket money from the husband. The husband only gave RM200 if the wife go holiday to KL. And only RM50 if the wife go to Kuching. The same thing happened every time the wife go for holiday. So one day the wife asking the husband why the husband give only RM50 for the pocket money. The husband just answered the wife, why must he need to give more pocket money while the wife is working?  The wife get frustrated and fade up with the husband, one day, she disappeared without no trace, resigned from her work, move out silently from her parents house. The husband made police report and advertised about his disappeared wife in newspaper. Not long after that, the husband received a divorce paper which is signed by the wife. 

Now then the woman live happily without stressful living under the same roof with stingy man. I would do the same thing too. I've been attached for almost 8 years and I can say I am not happy as what people seen. I don't have the courage to do such thing before. But now things different. I've changed. I become more aggressive and more mature in how to handle problems. Life just once. If I don't take the chance, it wont be the same again. 

What had happened from the past 7 years learned me a lot. I've been through traumatic life ever and that's more than enough to make a person gone insane. I have right for my own life thou attached. I've talk to myself a lot this few years. Been asking myself what will I do for my future life? How long do I stand by living this way? Money aren't the solution for happiness but without happiness the relationship wont go far. It's all about feeling. About dignity, satisfaction. I am not happy. I have sacrificed too much for everyone. I should think about my own satisfaction. Not because I flirt, people have their own reason about how they conduct their own life. I can't judge on others. We have our own reason 'why' this and that happened. So do I. I know people will ask me why and people will point their fingers to me one day. But why should I bother? Not them who going to be in my life. Not them who going to raise me up. Not them who going to feed me. In this modern world, being selfish is needed sometimes. 

I have found someone that can lead me to the goodness. That's what I wish since before. Being with someone that I can hope to, someone that can protect me, someone that can lead me. I have found someone that I really love so much. A better person. I never ask for more, enough with ordinary person. I know I did hurts few persons. But what can I do? I have my own reason of why. Love couldn't be force. Love bringing happiness not frustration. 

My wish, every day, every year, every moment, to be with someone that I love until forever. The right person. Not because I don't believe on God. This many years I've pray a lot. Yet I don't see any miracle happen. I stopped my prayer, and I just hope that miracle will come out by itself. I almost giving up on my life.