If you can make your girl laugh, you can make her beauty at the most...

For the beautiful eyes, look for the good in others; for beautiful lips, speak only words of kindness; and for poise, walk with the knowledge that you are never alone. The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched - they must be felt with the heart.

I born with special birth mark on my cheek. Red cherish color. It's pretty good for my parents as they can accepted me as their daughter thou they know I have birth mark on my face. I am thankful to God that I still look cute and pretty in different angle. Yeah. I should proud of myself that I don't have any other disablement on my body. Growing up with this kind of speciality isn't something that easy to face. I've been through hard time where everyone look and stare at me like I am an alien. My beloved father ever tried to rid off it when he introduced one type of medicine by his friend. But my young skin couldn't accept the effect from the medicine. I felt painful and felt the fire burning my skin. So father didn't continue with he medicine. I still remember what he did said to me.. 'You don't have plastic surgery to look pretty. Beauty come from inside; pure heart not from outlook. You are the only one of my special daughter and you are beautiful in my eyes, indeed.' In my next life I wish to have a kind and gentleman as my father. He know how to be a man, to protect his woman and his family. Ok back to the main course. Being age of 25 years old every year is the special part of my life. I admit I do look young from my actual age. Guess a lot of people been tricked from my outlook. People always asking me what do I take for my young skin. I told them I didn't take any supplements or what ever jamu. But not anymore... now I am having skin problem. Pimples and congested skin appeared. It started because of sleepless, restless and stressful. Some more I always exposed myself to the sun. My work make me to do so. I miss my pretty and smooth skin. Mom especially, bubbling non stop almost everyday about my face. It's not what I wanted ler. How ler? Tak kan botox pula. I love nature view okay.

I've been used a lot of facial stuffs and attended beauty session for my poor skin. But I don't see any improvement on it. Finally I use natural ways, I clean up my face with lime and use it as my mask. Not to forget alovera is a good plant for mask. At the same time, I starting taking collagen too. Now my face getting better and hope it will bring back my smooth skin. Nothing is free in this world. Taking collagen not cheap thou but for beauty, I struggling to have it. I know that I am not pretty and beauty as other women out there. But I also wanted to be one of those pretty look. God bless me. *Finger cross*

xoxo

Hidup tak selalu nya menjanjikan kebahagiaan

Aku ingin engkau selalu hadir dan temaniku. Di setiap langkah yang mengyakiniku. Setiap hari ku tunggu dengan penuh kesabaran akan kepulangan mu. Tiada sedetik pun diri mu aku lupai. Kerna bagi ku kau adalah penyuluh hidup ku. 

Tapi kini... ku persoalkan diriku.. Adakah dirimu seperti apa yang ku rasakan? Ingatkah dirimu terhadap ku setiap waktu? Mungkin bagi mu kerinduan itu hanya di saat dirimu jauh nun di sana tapi tidak bila di kau pulang. 

Yes aku rasa diri ini di pinggirkan bila saat aku struggling about my problem while you can enjoying your day with your friends and drinks. I just wondering kalo kau terfikir untuk bertemu dengan ku dahulu atau sebalik nya. Aku terasa tersisih. Hanya Tuhan mengerti akan perasaan ku di saat ini. 

..........

xoxo

Kau Yang Ku Sayang Ost Aku Terima Nikahnya

My future, My life

Do you believe in miracle? Don't you? I do. Miracle does happened. And that make me become more stronger, to go through my life. Today I wana share about my plan, my future and my life. This three things will be my new 2013 aims. Who doesn't have plans for their own future? Everyone does. Less than 2 months to the end of year 2012. Time flies fast. Couldn't make it slow but to move on for living. Year 2012, being good to me but not as good as my expectations.

It's time for me to think about myself, my own life. I've been so good and so kind to everyone around me, especially to those I loves and cares; my family. This is the time everyone should learn to handle everything by themselves. If I can be more than them, why not themselves? We talk about MY RIGHT. My own life. I do have my right in my own life. I am the one should think and decide what and when I should move on to the next step of my chapter. I am 30s and I am no longer small kid or teenager. I have to think about my future. The future that I've been searching for.

My plan, I will completed my study some where in April next year. I am so glad that I finally can finish my studies. It was a miracle. Why I say so? Since my age of 20s I've been studied and attended University and colleges. But I didn't completed my study and its ended up half way. Guess I should say it my unlucky. Not to mention the places I ever went to further my study. Past is past. Now left one more semester then I am freedom from my Diploma. Geez. Get my Dip at the age of 30s. Do I look like I care? Nahh...age isn't an issue to get knowledge. I have my plan to find a job in KL. Some where in KL lah. The plan was planned since many years ago. When the time I wanna pull out myself from the hard time I've been through. Now then with my Diploma cert, at least, I can find a job in other places. I was thought if I really get an offer over that side, a lot of things need to be prepare. I pray my this time planning will goes smooth. That's the only opportunity I can see at the moment. What's the point I struggling so hard for my study if I doesn't use my knowledge for good.

My future, this is important for me. I want to be a successful person, no matter in what and which field I involve with. Of course I want my own family in future. Just an ordinary family; a husband, children, and me. A responsibility husband, who willing to go through easy and hard path with me. A husband who do care about me and my children. A husband who is really a husband and be a protector to our family. I'm not a type who can duduk diam without doing nothing. With my capabilities and skills, I bet I can do a lot of things and come out with many ideas.

My life, I don't demand for a lot of things. What I wish to have is happiness. I wish to live in happy life, complete with colorful and cheering life. I pray to God to grant me a better life and let me out from my miserable life. I have living with such hard time and I wish I'll found my soulmate. Nothing else I can say other than this. Its time for me to move on and don't look back again. For my future, my life.

xoxo

My big day!

Graduation day just passed. Thanks to God, thanks to my family, friends and especially my Gummy bear for their moral support this while. Finally I've been through my another part of my dreams. If were my dad still alive, he's the most happiest person by watching his daughter walk up to the stage to received the certificate. But what can I do is just to tell him that I was so proud to be his the only daughter. I did it daddy. At last I wore the robe on my graduation day. Thanks dad. You're my inspiration. You are my idol. I will end my studies by next year. Left few months to go. I haven' decide either to further for my Bachelor in future. It's all about money and time. Bachelor course not cheap thou. But I do wish if I can complete my studies until Bachelor certificate. 

Anyway, to my Gummy Bear, thank you so much for the graduation gift. It such a nice gift. I loike. He make surprise for that. Better than a flower. It sentimental value. I can wear and see the gift for long period. Thanks once again. I do appreciate it and make me love you more and more!!

I better stop right here, now. I having hard time from backache. Couldn't move freely. Will come again for new post. 

xoxo

Nothing much difference

Blogspot.com will always be my best friend, my diaries, my stories. It full of emotions. Either happy, sad or horrible stories of me. A month to go to Christmas season. Then following New Year eve. What's your plan guys? Anyone plans for holiday? Or get married on end of the year? Or just stick yourself at home? My end year celebration may be once again spoil. May be. I though this time Gummy Bear welcome back will be great. But I guess it wont be as what I might think it would be. He got wedding invitation some where in Sibu. There it goes.. not successful great moment to be with him. Ok..I don't feel upset. As I thought I will go with him. Plan changed again. He said, its not convenient for me to follow as I'm not familiar with the situation. He afraid I beh tahan jalan jauh and afraid that I fall sick at people place. Hello~ I've been travel quiet often. It's not gonna be a problem to me.

My graduation just around the corner. Another sad moment to me. How I wish daddy were here to see me. (I am crying by the time I'm typing) How pity I am. Year 2012 a year of sadness to me. 

Sorry guys.. I gotta stop here. Couldn't type more as tears non stop. Mind mess up. 

xoxo

Pray for better hope...

Hurricane Sandy or some people called it Sandy typhoon has been attacked violently in Miri town last 2 days ago. It happened in afternoon and took only half and hour to ruined / damaged several houses, trees and building roof. Non hurt, thanks God. God bless everyone. This is the huge damaged happened in Sarawak. The worse country damaged by hurricane last few days was in New York. It brought huge impact  damaged to New York. I was lucky on that day. It happened right after I came back from my lunch break. I guess everyone in the office didn't know or notice about what is happening out there. Yes I wouldn't know what happen at outside. I only know the news from Facebook. Well, Facebook the fastest multimedia compare to News. A lot of weird things happened recently. Is it sign of Dormday? People talks about Dormdays will happen in December, 23rd and 24th December. Which mean next month. Do you believe? If it true, what will you do? 

All Souls Day.

Anyone know what's All Souls Day about? For Christian Fellow, they know what mean by All Souls Day. All Souls Day or All Saints Day, on Nov 2, have been celebrated for centuries. On All Souls Day, the faithful attend church t remember the saints. On All Souls Day, also known as Day of Remembrance or Day of the Dead, people will go to graves of loved ones and burn specially decorated candles to help the departed souls find their way to everlasting light. 

This is my 2nd years missed to visit Dad's grave as Nov 2, fallen on working day. That's not the main reason, this year, my family decided to have a visit early to the graveyard. They have something else to do today. They're out of town. Brother tagged me the photos of Dad's 'palace' in Facebook and it does make me tears. I miss my dad. I am so sorry dad that I wasn't there to visit you. I pray for you to rest in peace up there. We do love you and miss you so much here. I will never forget you. You will forever be my father and  will remain in my heart. 

Dad, if you could see me, bless me. You know me so well. I couldn't regret more for the mistake I made. But with your bless, I would feel my happiness, someday. I've found someone who love me as who I am. Someone that know how to appreciate me thou sometimes he doesn't realized it without I tell / hint him. Yes I know they're not women but men supposed to learn more alert on women feeling. 

I pray to God, please forgive me. I just want to be happy with someone that love me as I do. God bless me. Amen.

xoxo