Who should to be blame? Them? Or ourselves?

Family …

What an important meaning in our life. A family whom always be there when others need each other. A family whom helping each other. Family that give all the best support to each other. No matter how big or small the family it is, should have better attitude or morality among each other. One family. Tolerate, understanding, rational, team work, etc. That’s what family mean.

How I wish I have a family who really understand everyone, really know how to make a word of ‘family’ a live, wonderful and colorful. What I understand about my family, its seems dull. Everyone busy with their own stuffs. Its been like that for past 6 years ago. People might thought that I do have a happy family. Its just the cover of the book. Its aren’t as what you all thought. I wondering how long more they will acting that way to each other? I mean treating me just like a step daughter or step sister. I ask for nothing from them. What I want just be good to me. Be kind, be nice, understanding my every situation. Be polite, rational, and concern on me. I’m easy to ‘build’ if they put aside their ego. Why its hard for them to be just like me? Is that cost them so much until they never think about my situation? When they need my help, I would try my best to lend my hand for them. But why its so hard for them to do the same when I need their help?

For eg. I have granduncle who are staying with us since after Daddy passed away. My granduncle are someone that so ‘ngiao ji’. I don’t want to talk bad behind him but this the only way I can express my feeling. I know everyone did mistake, and will often make mistake. We’re just human being. We’re created as a human who are weak and easily fall down in to problems. Who does not make mistake? But to have granduncle who never thought the goodness of others other than his favorite people, is ‘menyampah’! I know that I am not his favorite grandchild and I know that I am not gonna be one. Because when ever mom ask help from him, he never do it sincere but to raise up everything that happened. Apa punya datuk macam tu?? My own biologic grandpa pun tak macam dia. Ish.. if he given so many complaint then why still stuck himself there? Hurm. Idk what to say more about this person. He is acting like I live in his house. Why mau pilih kasih? 

World sometimes cruel, some people earn for little but they have happy life. Why? They don't have much burden in every month. Some does earn a lot but have no saving every month. It's really sick when every end of the month you have to mess your head and force your brain to list up or manage your financial. What should you pay, what should pending. We work for living, pay debts, pay bills and so on. We work like a hell, work hard just to earn the little penny. We often heard or read in newspaper or any other network about people suicide because of life movement. Especially when its come to financial. Financial problems the most higher reason what does make people lost their mind and end up with suicide or even mistake. So to who should we blame? Our employer who doesn't give us the pay base on our skills? Or blame ourselves that chosen the work place that only can give pay base on paper? Well, you all got the answer. Each of us do have different thought but there's only one thing we're same. We work, we make business, we earn, for LIVING. Like I pay more you give more. Well there's more I wanna share here but guess I need to stop as my eyes getting tired. To be continue...

Work hard play hard~

Luv you all ~

xoxo

Random

No title for my post as I have no idea what title should I put for my this post. I know that I am quite silent lately. Ya like you know and often read, I have limited time to update my blog. Plus I am feeling unwell recently. I'm having gums problem. It's really painful until I wanted to pull out my tooth so that I wont feel so irritating painful right now. I don't have large appetite cause of this painful. I have to brush it hardly every time I brush my teeth. It's been like that for many years and even dental couldn't do anything on it. Geez! 

2nd Story is about granted gift. Hehe. Me myself never thought that I will kena lottery for one time buy. It's been so long I didn't play some sort of fortune luck. Because I thought myself have no luck. And there goes miracle come when I won for 1st prize lottery, which worth more than RM2K ticket. LOL! Woo woo~~ I am so happy. Now then I can have new gadget for myself! The one that I've been admired since few months ago! Teddy don't jealous sikit k. Jealous banyak2. :p I never thought I kena lottery until that much. It might my luck then. Thanks for those whom insulted and mocked me. It's granted me something that worthy. Remember, believe in karma. Sometimes we don't know there's good things waiting in front. I believe~

What had happened today was really temptations from God. Feeling unwell caused of my gum problem. Then I kena pressed by office building de lift. How painful it is! Huhu.... uwaaaaaaaaaa!! Sakit banget lah! I still can feel the painful and the bruise. That reporter... hurm. I don't know either he did it in purpose or he totally don't know how to differentiate between close and open button. He was inside the lift and I thought he wanna come out since he came from upper floor. But then I look at him, he look at me. So I step on to the lift and when the time my feet stepped in, the door suddenly close up and squeeze me. Betapa sakit nya shoulder aku! Dia hanya say sorry without looking at me. And go just like that once he reach on 1st floor. WTF! No manner at all. Jantan apa tu?! I summon baru tau nanti. Luckily I don't get serious injury. 

Last but not least, I have very common and never ending story de story. Psycho. He still 'hoping' that I will jatuh merayu for him to come back. Uh huh. Such pathetic. There's no words can describe how disgusting he is now. Trash! What he think he is? So handsome meh? So rich meh? Even he kneel with diamond in front of me pun tak guna juga. Unless, the person would buy me a diamond is Teddy. *wink2* Let this psycho stay with his own fantasy. He could have desire to insult me. Not tomorrow or the next day, but some day, one day, he will get the return from what he did. 

Hurm. Didn't realize the time. It's my bed time. Need look fresh every day. My skin getting dry caused of lack of sleep. Teddy, ktk lah polah mek slalu aher tdo tok. :p 

Nite buddies~ Luv yea.. smile~

xoxo

Wish You Were Here

失踪的人

Sneezing non stop. Irritating nose! Go away flu! You make my day turn cloudy. Great enough!

Listening to Avril Lavigne - When You're Gone. It's been long time didn't listen to the song. And I've been mute myself from blog recently. Idk why..may be because I do have limited time or out of idea about what to blog about. Hurm. What happened lately? Nothing special. Just that busy with works and classes. Kinda tired. Now then I have about 4 assignments need to be done. Yet I still fooling around. Yea..last minute punya kerja la tu. Gosh! Mid term exam will be held next month. Geez! I am not ready yet. Work? Still the same. Been busy myself with other people shit, but its ok, I'm doing it sincerely to that person. Now then have to finish the staffs pass card by next week else kena goreng by HQ. Running up and down the floors. Guess I lost my weight easily like this. Huh. Rugi nye aku saving lemak this whole months. 

Missing someone right now. Happy to see him just now, thou just for couple of hours. But I'm glad. Because I know tomorrow never die. It's not the end of the day. 

Going to attend colleague's wedding dinner tomorrow night. Thinking what should I wear. Arhhhh.. tomorrow aje lah think what to wear for the dinner. My brain couldn't functioning well at the moment. Sigh! See yea.. Smile~

xoxo

Cinta Aku Seadanya

Happy Sunday~

If we can choose what and which life we want to have, I am pleasure to choose not a perfect life but a happy life, indeed. Siapa tak nak kan. But then it's truly impossible. God gave what He thought its good for everyone and there's thousand meaning behind all of what had happened and what will happen. We thankful for what we have. Tiada siapa yang meminta untuk hidup dalam serba kekurangan dari segi mental dan fizikal. Tiada siapa. Oleh itu apa jua yang melanda, kita harus redha. 

Tiada ku pinta hidup begini, tiada ku pinta rupa sebegini. How I wish some kind of magic appear in front of me and change my life for better one. I don't mind with my appearance but I really want for one thing. A better life. Nah.. it just a dream. Struggled too much this many years yet no improvement. Keep on giving myself encourage and motivation not to give up easily. Sigh!

Things that I really need get rid off is ... first of all, DEBTS! Ya.. debts, I hate having so much (for me too burden lah) debts which is I need to settle off. Make my financial tak stable aje. At least I can take deep breath and away from those debts. Then 2nd, cant wait to finish my car loan so that I can think and plan to have new car. (Hurm..perlu ke?) 3rd, to finish my studies on time with great pointer. So that I can have better income than current. Change new job still in consideration. I don't know if I should change my job once again. Back to previous company where I ever worked with. And the most thing that I really need get rid off is to get out from the hell I am standing right now. Letih asyik kena di persalahkan sedangkan tiada siapa yang mengerti akan sebenarnya yang terjadi. Kau orang aje ke yang betul? So aku tak boleh betul? 

Btw, I've read this one story book which is similar with my life story. Punya lah sedih cerita tu. Hurm. Got to stop here. Stay tune~ 

xoxo

Irresponsible person he is!

My father never taught me to revenge but to forgive anyone had treat us badly. Dad also never taught his children being bad and irresponsible person. We obey most of what my dad taught us. Thou he no more in this earth, his knowledge, advices, lesson, everything always remind me about how wonderful life it is. How I wish he be here beside me whenever I feel so down.

It's happened today where my precious thing ever, my the only one laptop damaged by irresponsible person or keen to say such an animal. I tears the moment he pijak and hentak his foot on to my laptop. How could he do that?? He have no mercy at all. It's because its not his laptop and he didn't pay for that so he freely and keen to smashed it? Before he smashed my laptop, he hit me using booster from behind. How should we assume this kind of person? A human? Or an animal? For me he is no different than sampah masyarakat. What a such furking bloody hell person he is!

You talk like you never did wrong to your woman. You talk like you are the best among the best. You talk seems like you are so geng. Let me say something, I don't even care who you are. How rich or respectful (fake attitude) you are in front others, worthless if your attitude macam taik! Why should I respect you? Should I respect you? Or should I obey to you like I am a slave? You never want to change yet to against your woman most of the time. She does have feeling too. She does have her right for herself too. Doesn't matter if she is legal person to you, but you should know one thing,she still she is and she still have her right for herself. We're not belong to anyone but we are belong to God. Mati hidup we someday tetap akan return to Him. You ruined her life the day you harassed her. You did changed her to be more agressive, protest, and bad person. You can't blame her in everything because that's all happened because of you. No doubt that everything happened brought me a huge impact and no doubt its changed me to a person whom very hard to trust anyone. Trauma. It takes time.

To that someone. she will be bless by God with a good life start from one day. And by that time which ever curses you all gave to her will return to you all. Just remember one thing, what comes around goes around. She deserve for better life, a better husband, a better chances. She has been wasted her youth life for being with someone who never be a real man to her. Never appreciate her as a woman. Don't regret when one day she become someone who will have a better life.

xoxo