He's was my idol

I miss someone..someone that I adore.
Daddy,do you still remember of your the only lovely daughter?
I wondering how are you now dad?I eager wanted to see you.Wondering if you watching me up there.
I pray for your soul to be place with nice pure holy people.I miss the moment we being together. Miss how you treated your children to be a better person ever,even thou we're not as what you wish we to-be.At least,we (me & bro) can keep on living until today.
Dad,live was wonderful when you were here beside us. You are my idol,my dictionary,grammar,even TEACHER and my EVERYTHING. I never feel shame to have a dad like you. You know how deep is my love toward you. It was a huge impact to lose you. I lose my path, I lose myself, my confidence in everything. Our family wont be the same as before where you still around. Everybody doing everything by individual. With no leader, we proper management, everything is mess. I wish you were here whenever I need you to guide me as you usually did. There's no one can replace you, dad. No one can be you. If it is, it wont be the same. Your knowledge, your honor, your manners, your attitude..
Remember when the time me and brother still small kids, we like to fight and you always win him and scolded me even thou you know it wasn't my mistake. But you never scold me right after that. I do still remember when you taught me not to give up easily when you push me to go more further deep to the sea until I almost get drown and you did saved my life. But dad, i never put you as my enemy. I being nice to everyone as what you taught me. *wink wink*

Now, everything is different. I feel empty. I feel I lost something that so precious. And that is you, dad.
When you still here, everything under control. People likes listen to your advices, stories and knowledge. Because you know, you wont loss anything. You are so kind until you never have intention to hate anyone without reason. I know there's certain people might doesn't like you dad. But as you said, we don't have power to stop them being so ridiculous and we not suppose to keep revenge and heart feeling either. What we should..sharing our prayers to everybody. You never easy to give up in every decision you made. For the sake of your family you built, you never stop walking to the top for the best for us. And you did it dad! You built us a house to stay, you gave a special life to each of us, you gave sunshine in every angle to everyone of us.

One thing dad, I do feel regretted that I've made decision that you never wanted it to be. I know deep inside your eyes, hard for you to accept.I'm so sorry dad. I'm so sorry. If there's a way for me to ask for apologize in front you, I would pleasure to kneel to do it. You threat me such a good person but I never realized that I may hurt your feeling. You rather to keep silence not to talk where is my mistake. You love me more than you do. If time can turn back, I, definitely will do the best for you, Dad.

We do love you dad...we do...